The Journey From Darkness To Recovery: My RockBottom

Everyone hits a rockbottom at different times. Some people see it as losing their job. Others see it as losing their health or family. For me, heroin addiction destroyed my entire business, relationships, and sense of self. But I truly realized the gravity of my circumstances when I hit the lowest low. The lowest low was a warning that put me on the road to recovery, not just a passing experience.

Table of Contents

Reaching the Rockbottom: A Personal Thought Process

I remember when I first got caught up in heroin addiction. I rationalized that I could handle it. My best friend was denial; I kept telling myself that I could quit anytime and that I could control it. You’re familiar with this, right? I was already struggling to quit, but somehow I convinced myself that I could control it. How wrong I was.

Within six to seven months, my life started falling apart. My finances were destroyed, I dropped out of college, left a promising startup, and even started distancing myself from my girlfriend. From my home to my job and my studies – everything was slowly slipping out of my hands. I was in so much denial that I didn’t even realise.

Turning to Chandigarh: A False New Beginning

I once thought that a change of environment could fix everything. So I packed my bags in Indore and moved to Chandigarh, hoping that the new city would help me get rid of my addiction. I struggled fiercely for about six months to stay away from drugs. Though it was difficult, I managed the withdrawal. Slowly, my life started getting better. At work, I was performing quite well and feeling some stability. I should have had it under control.

However, the truth about addiction is that it is always lurking in the background. And before I knew it, I was back to old behaviour once again. I started using injections. Though my nerves got worse, my addiction was unrelenting. I kept on looking for that drug, finding ways to blame my circumstances on everyone as well as everything. I told myself, “I wish I had more money, I wish I had better business partners.” Two to three more years passed in this cycle.

Reality Check: Coming Back Home During COVID

Then COVID struck. Like many others, I had to move back to my hometown with no option. Withdrawal was not something I was prepared for. My body was aching without the drugs. I was going through my worst withdrawal phase when my mother was in the hospital for knee surgery. Though the truth is that I was barely able to take care of myself, I was advised to take care of her.

That day changed my life forever.

The Worst Moment: Addiction Consumes Everything

When my mother fainted after the surgery, my father was by her side. But I got so angry, so lost in my selfishness and addiction that I argued with my father and left the hospital. Because my addiction meant more to me than her, I left my mother still sleeping and weak.

That was my worst situation – leaving my mother in the hospital. Later, my father told me that when my mother regained consciousness and found that I was gone, she was very upset. Her blood pressure skyrocketed, and she had to spend three more days in the ICU. I was causing trouble for my mother, the woman who had done everything for me. Still, I was unable to stop. I was unable to see how much my actions were harming my loved ones.

When I returned to Indore, I finally took a closer look at my life. Like a ton of bricks, awareness hit me. Because of my addiction, I had ruined relationships, lost opportunities, and now I had harmed my own family. I couldn’t hide behind apologies anymore. I asked for help.

Lessons Learned from My Lowest Point

Lesson I have learned from my drug addiction.

The lowest point taught me many hard lessons—lessons I hope others in recovery will learn too.

1. Denial is Dangerous

The more you tell yourself you can control your addiction, the deeper you sink. The problem can’t be solved until you acknowledge its existence.

2. Escape Won’t Help You

A new city, a new job, a new relationship—until you face the root of your addiction, nothing will change. Geographical changes can’t heal emotional wounds.

3. Family Suffers Too

I completely forgot the pain my addiction caused my family. Addiction is not a solitary experience. It drags down everyone you love.

4. Recovery Requires Honesty

This path is about being very honest with yourself. I had to accept full responsibility for my actions instead of criticizing others.

The Road to Reconstruction: How I Am Making Atonement

After two years of recovery, I had the opportunity to make atonement with my father. Although it was difficult, it was absolutely necessary. My healing process involved confronting the harm I had caused.

FAQs for People Recovering from Addiction

Q: How do you know when you have hit rock bottom?

A: Everyone has a different stage. Some people consider it losing a relationship or a job. For some, it represents a medical crisis. The key indicator is when you can no longer ignore the damage your addiction is causing to yourself and those around you.

Q: Can I bounce back without hitting rock bottom?

A: There is no doubt that seeking help does not wait until you have lost everything. The sooner you identify the problem and seek help, the greater your chances of recovery.

Q: How can a person rebuild trust after hitting rock bottom?

A: Rebuilding trust requires both constant work and time. It is not about words, but actions. Show up, be trustworthy, and most importantly, tell the truth to those you have hurt.

Q: Suppose I hit rock bottom and then relapse into addiction?

A: Many people’s path to recovery involves relapses. It depends mainly on your response. Relapses should not define you. Get back on track, get help, and keep moving forward.

Finally: Rising Above the Shadow

Although this feels like the end, it’s actually only the beginning. This is the moment when you decide to fight back or give up. For me, this serves as a warning that begins a healing journey of self-discovery. Know that you’re not alone if you’re struggling. There is always a way out though, and it starts with accepting your situation and being ready for change.

Recovery happens; it starts with the first step of stepping out of the shadow.

If you’re on a similar path or just beginning your recovery, you may find these articles helpful:

For more help, here are some valuable resources:

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) – Learn more about the 12 Steps and find meetings near you.
Narcotics Anonymous (NA) – A global fellowship that supports recovery from drug addiction with regular meetings worldwide.