7 Reasons Resentments Are the Number 1 Offender and How to Address Them

by Sankalp Nayak
argument, pair, wife

Resentment in recovery is like that one friend who shows up uninvited, makes everything uncomfortable, and then refuses to leave. It lingers in your mind, holds you back emotionally, and can even sabotage your progress. If you’re in recovery, you probably already know that resentments are the number 1 offender—they’re one of the biggest obstacles standing in the way of your emotional and spiritual growth.

So why are resentments the number 1 offender in recovery, and how can you tackle them head-on? Let’s dive into it!

Why resentments are the number 1 offender in recovery and how to heal.

1. Resentments Keep You Stuck in the Past

One of the main reasons resentments are the number 1 offender is because they keep you living in the past. When you’re constantly revisiting old hurts, you’re not allowing yourself to move forward. It’s like trying to drive while looking in the rearview mirror—you won’t get far. Resentment forces you to relive negative emotions, preventing you from embracing the present moment and moving forward in your recovery journey.

Action Tip: Let go of the past by practicing mindfulness. Focus on being present and work through your feelings of resentment one step at a time.

2. They Block Your Emotional Sobriety

We all know that recovery is about more than just staying sober—it’s about achieving emotional sobriety, too. When resentments are the number 1 offender, they block emotional growth. Holding on to grudges creates a toxic emotional environment, making it harder to experience the peace and clarity you’re working toward in your recovery.

For more on emotional sobriety, check out this article on Serene Vibess. It dives into the importance of emotional balance for long-term sobriety.

3. Resentments Fuel Negative Thinking

Resentment feeds into negative thinking patterns, often making you feel stuck in a loop of anger, frustration, or bitterness. This negativity can cloud your judgment, impair your ability to make rational decisions, and even influence your actions. Over time, these patterns can worsen, making it harder to feel hopeful or positive about your future.

Action Tip: Try journaling your thoughts and feelings of resentment. Writing things down can help you release them and break the cycle of negative thinking.

4. They Damage Your Relationships

Resentment isn’t just internal—it can spill over into your relationships with others. When you hold onto anger, bitterness, or hurt, you might start projecting those feelings onto people who aren’t even involved in the situation. This can create unnecessary tension and distance in your relationships, making it harder to connect with others in your recovery community.

The 12-Step program offers a great approach to working through resentments in relationships, especially in Steps 8 and 9, which focus on making amends. Learn more about this process in Serene Vibess’ article on Acceptance in AA.

5. Resentments Can Lead to Relapse

When resentments are the number 1 offender, they can increase the risk of relapse. Holding onto unresolved anger or frustration can create emotional pain, making you more vulnerable to turning to substances for relief. Over time, this emotional weight can become unbearable, leading you to seek an escape through unhealthy coping mechanisms.

For additional relapse prevention strategies, check out our guide to relapse prevention.

6. They Create Unnecessary Stress

Chronic resentment creates stress. And let’s be real—stress is a major recovery trigger. Your body goes into fight-or-flight mode when you’re angry or upset, and that takes a toll on your physical and mental health. This kind of emotional stress makes it harder to stay grounded and in control of your emotions.

Action Tip: Practice stress-relieving techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga. These can help calm your mind and release the tension built up from resentment.

7. Resentments Block Spiritual Growth

If you’re in recovery, you know that a big part of healing is spiritual growth. Resentments are the number 1 offender because they block your connection to your higher power. When you’re carrying around emotional baggage, it can be hard to feel spiritually connected, experience gratitude, or practice the principles of your recovery program.

The AA Resentment Prayer is a great tool for addressing resentments and finding spiritual peace. It allows you to release your anger and open up to healing. For more information on how to incorporate prayer and spirituality into your recovery, check out this article on the Serenity Prayer.

Related articel Free Yourself from Resentments in Recovery Today!


How to Address Resentments in Recovery

Now that we’ve covered why resentments are the number 1 offender in recovery, let’s talk about how you can address them. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely possible. Here are a few practical steps you can take:

How to Address Resentments in Recovery

1. Acknowledge and Identify Your Resentments

The first step to addressing any resentment is acknowledging it. Be honest with yourself about who or what you’re holding onto resentment toward. Take time to reflect on your feelings and identify the root causes.

2. Use the AA Resentment Prayer

The AA Resentment Prayer is a powerful tool for letting go of anger and resentment. It helps you release those negative feelings and move forward with a sense of peace and spiritual clarity. You can find a version of this prayer in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it’s something you can incorporate into your daily routine to promote emotional healing.

3. Work Through the 12 Steps

Steps 4, 8, and 9 of the 12-Step program are all about working through resentments and making amends. Taking an inventory of your wrongs, seeking forgiveness, and making direct amends can help you release old hurts and move on.

4. Talk to Someone You Trust

Sometimes, the best way to work through resentment is by talking it out with someone you trust. Whether it’s your sponsor, a fellow in recovery, or a counselor, expressing your feelings can be a great release and help you gain perspective.

5. Practice Self-Forgiveness

Finally, remember that forgiveness doesn’t just apply to others—it’s crucial that you forgive yourself, too. Holding onto self-blame or guilt can feed resentment and prevent you from healing. Be kind to yourself, and allow space for growth.


Conclusion: Letting Go of Resentments for Good

At the end of the day, resentments are the number 1 offender in recovery because they hold you back from living your best, sober life. By acknowledging your feelings, using tools like the AA Resentment Prayer, and following through with the 12 steps, you can start to let go of those harmful emotions and move forward with peace.

If you’re struggling with resentment, know you’re not alone. Recovery is a journey, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself, lean on your support network, and remember that letting go of resentment is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself.

For more recovery tools and support, check out these helpful resources:

For further reading on emotional sobriety, visit The National Institute on Drug Abuse.

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