The 14 Defects of Character You Must Face to Succeed in Recovery

So, let’s talk about defects of character—those things we All have but barely ever wanna admit to, right?? If you are in recovery—especially with AA—you have most likely encountered these challenging behaviors. These are the habits and attitudes that trip us, keep us back, and complicate our lives considerably. The truth is, however, that half the struggle is acknowledging you have difficulties and working on them.

What Are Defects of Character?

First of all—what precisely are moral failings? Basically, those qualities prevent you from realizing your best self. Though they’re not often glaring, they clearly meddle with your development over time. These things surface whether you’re upset, anxious, or simply attempting to sort things out.

Some instances of character flaws are as follows:

Pride (assuming you’re superior than others or skipping to seek for aid)

fear (avoidance of circumstances due to concern about what might transpires)

jealously (always feeling tiny and always evaluating yourself against others)

sloth (putting off… over and over)

dishonesty (not being direct with people or oneself)

Not too unfamiliar? Sure, me too. But to be honest? Admitting these things exist. is a HUGE win. Once you start seeing these patterns in yourself, you can actually start doing something about them.

Read More My 3 Principle Of Life Honesty Open-mind & Willingness

AA’s List of Character Defects

If you have attended Alcoholics Anonymous or any 12-step program, you have most certainly heard about the list of character flaws. In AA, steps six and seven center on learning to be ready to let go of these flaws and seek assistance in their elimination. Said another way, though, easier said than done. Sometimes we have really strong roots for these habits.

Here is a brief overview of the flaws of character that AA frequently notes:

Selfishness: Though it harms others, always first pay attention to your wants.

Resentment: Clutching grudges that sour your perspective on life.

Let anxiety guide your choices.

Dishonesty is avoiding the truth—even in small matters.

Jealousy: Continually wishing you had what others have instead of valuing your own road.

Remember now—it’s not about perfection—before you go believing this is a list of all your shortcomings. Not perfection, but rather progress defines recovery. That’s what counts; we’re working on stuff here. View More Five Useful Strategies To Deal With Errors

How Defects of Character show up in Recovery

You might be wondering, “Okay, but how do these defects of character really show up in my daily life?” To be honest, they show up when you least would have expected. You seem to be enjoying a great day, and suddenly… BAM! When someone says something you find objectionable, resentment seeps in; when confronted with a difficult choice, fear paralyzes you.

These minor events are the ones when our flaws most affect us. Worst case, they can cause relapse; they drag us back to old behaviors, cause us to react rather than respond. These flaws love to surprise us whether they include using again or some other bad activity.

But don’t stress—no one expects perfection in recovery. **Working through these events and knowing how to manage them without allowing them to rule you is everything.

Read more How to Manage Stress Effectively in Daily Life**

What are the 14 defects of Character?

Those in recovery circles sometimes discuss the 14 flaws of character. Though it’s not a “official” AA phrase, it captures most of the major ones. The typical ones we all usually find difficult are listed here:

Respect

Envy

Desire

resentment

Eatfulness

Ambulence

indolence

integrity

Terror

Self-pity

Restlessness

hatred

Empathy

remorse

Though it seems like a huge list (and really, it is very daunting), it is actually about being ready to confront these issues. Every one of these flaws has a reverse to reflecto, like practicing humility to combat pride, or patience to tackle anger. **It’s about trying, not getting it right all the time.

How to Overcome Defects of Character

You have thus come to see that, perhaps all of these are flaws of character (no judgement). What next?

Here are some strategies to begin conquering them:

Acknowledgment of When They Show Up: First is awareness. When you begin to slide into dishonesty, jealousy, or anger, notice. Early catching of it will allow you to turn around.

Practice the Opposite: Every flaw has an opposite. Work on developing courage if you find yourself paralyzed by fear. Controlling bitterness? Get in the habit of forgiving.

Lean on the 12 Steps: In AA, Steps 6 and 7 are all about being ready to let go of these shortcomings and asking a Higher Power (however you define it) to help.

Talk it Out: Try not to go at it by yourself. See your sponsor, friend, or therapist. Working through flaws calls for enormous support.

None of this occurs over night. Be patient. Allow yourself the elegance to be a work in progress. What counts is that you’re putting forth the effort.

Wrapping Up: progress, Not Perfection

Look, flaws of character do not define a person negatively. They define not your recovery but rather Your will to face them defines your recovery; gradually but definitely work on them. Reading this indicates that you are dedicated to improve—and that is quite amazing.

Recovering is more about the process than about anything else. It is not about striving perfection or fixing everything at once. It’s about realizing what’s stopping you and methodically but definitely breaking away at those areas.

Which flaw of character then do you find most difficult? Leave a note below; I would be interested in learning how you approach it.

P.S.** Follow me on Quora and Medium at SereneVibes if you liked this article and wish to explore recovery subjects more closely. For further perceptive material on addiction recovery, personal development, and wellness, visit my website at serenevibes.com.